Wishlist From Life

My homecoming was going smooth till a few days back, when some family friend of mine decides to ask me, What do you want from life now? What a bummer! I absolutely had no answer to the question that very moment, but slyly said 'Maybe...success'. 


The question actually set me thinking what do I exactly want from life now. I spent a couple of nights indulging with my brain try to come out with a comprehensive answer.  A sea of thoughts crossed from the left to the right brain but nothing concrete built a base. Finally after some self-discourse, I am out with a list with the things I want from life at this moment. 


So here I am, with the list, so life if you happen to read my blog, make sure you fulfil my wishlist. 

1) Canon EF 50mm f/1.8 II Lens

2) Sigma 70-300mm F/4-5.6 DG Macro Lens

3) Zoom H1 Handy Portable Digital Recorder

4) Seagate FreeAgent GoFlex Desk 3 TB USB 3.0 External Hard Drive

5) MacBook Pro 17-inch 

6) Lensbaby Composer/Fisheye 

P.S. - As you can see Life, my demands are not too much, so you can feel free to put them out of my wishlist as soon as possible. I am waiting. 

I start to blog. AGAIN

Finally, I get myself to start blogging on a regular basis. This is one promise I made to myself, that I shall keep. I have no idea where it will lead, but for the moment I am happy. A lot of things have changed since the time I posted my last poem. I got done with my undergrad school (results awaiting), got admission to DOCNOMADS (but no scholarship), dad is recovering quite well (he was diagnosed with cancer) and my sister is expecting a baby (Ya, she's pregnant).

I have come home i.e. Guwahati after a gap of two years and I was welcomed with incessant power cuts. Luckily the situation has improved now. I was so nostalgic while on my way home from the airport, I spotted my school bus, and was jumping like a kid. The driver gave me a freaky look. Guwahati has become a cool-town now. Everyone is either heading to KFC or Subway (it's still a big thing here) and I hear that McDonald's is also coming soon. I don't really know if these measure a city's development but everyone is enjoying it and that's what matters.

My stay at home is short, so I am thinking of spending it creatively (details will be revealed later), for the moment have a look at this stop motion I made for Fundacja Artes, the NGO in Krakow, Poland where I did my internship couple of years back.

The link - Nowy Początek - A fresh start

The Old lady

I stand there and quietly watch

An old lady; her expressions full

Of despair and disregard

Everything that surrounds her

With hopes of no better

Tomorrow; she cries out

To every passer-by,

“Give me something, eh

In the name of Lord; For

I just ask a square meal”.

She takes the same spot

Every single day

And I too watch her

Every single day

Days have passed

Years have rolled

She hasn’t changed

Neither have I.

With every growing day

I just see her standing there

Asking for a square meal

Everyone who passes by

Just looks and walk away.

She bears the same expression

The same feelings; no hopes

For a better tomorrow.

How many more days would she live

Her old age has caught up

She should just sit and wait

Maybe for her last day

Look at me, I am in my prime

I can do many things

Run around, earn money

And make a family.

Everyone who passes by

All these years

Haven’t given her a penny

Yet she stood there

Waiting for someone

Who would never come

To give her some money.

I compare myself

With this lady

As I watch her

Look at me

And look at her.

I don’t say I am rich

But I have my work

And a dream

Where one day

I shall reach.

I watch her only with hope

When will my day come

And all my dreams be filled.

I watch her; I began to wonder

Why doesn’t she work

Why does she have to beg

Why is she even alive

My thoughts are harsh

For I have no good feelings for her

She is ugly, I would say

Looking at her doesn’t help me anyway

But I don’t know why

For all these years

I stood every day and watched her

No one ever gave her a penny

Neither have I.

I continue to watch her

But one fine day

I did not see her anymore

I looked around

Walked up and down

But still couldn’t trace her

I came back every following day

But no, I don’t see her.

Time has passed

Years have rolled in

Things have changed now

But that street remains the same

My dreams were never realized

I never had a family

Now I am old

And have nothing to do

I took the same spot

As that old lady

And with every passer-by

I say “Give me something, eh

In the name of Lord”.

What have I done wrong

Was I too harsh

Or just plain unlucky

He does the justice

But I don’t trust Him

I now stand there

With only a hope

To earn a penny.

Search for happiness

Behold your thoughts

Keep the creativity to yourself

For I ask,

What happens to those little happiness

Which gets deserted in the sands of time

With no hope to find.

Ideally,

It should grow with us

Along with age, along with maturity

Happiness should grow.

But all I wonder,

In that little corner

Time flies, age flies, even maturity grows

But happiness stays back at un-moved.

Those bright eyes, filled with dreams of tomorrow

Don’t know, where the roads lead

Yet with their bags filled,

They set out for the journey

With no clue where the destiny leads

It’s a journey of a life time

Invariably the only ever chance

So why not grab it?

I sit here, only to ponder

Where did my happiness go?

Until yesterday, it was beside me,

Playing, singing, and rising.

But, what happened today?

The sun rose on time

The birds chirped it right

Eh, the happiness is nowhere to be seen.

I sit stuck, without any help

What should I do?

Should I borrow my parents’ or my friends’

I too need it,

Then how shall I get it

I went out in a search

The search for happiness

Travelled across cities,

And across hearts

Only to fill myself with more gloom.

I begin to imagine,

What next?

Should I start stealing happiness then?

That’s what they do,

I watched it there,

Pool of blood on one side

And a feeling of satisfaction on the other

I start to envy them

They have so much of it

Why can’t I have any?

I reach out for them

And I scream,

Give me happiness, I want it

I lost mine.

They say the only way

To bring happiness is

To take it away from someone

That’s what we do,

You should too.

Standing there, brimming with dreams

Of tomorrow and after

With no happiness around

And only some to spare

Its time I start stealing

Or else everyone will have their own share.

I mean no offence

I mean no harm

All I want is just a little bit of happiness

Is it too much to ask?

Wait and Watch

I watch him run
His nuances of innocence
Wins everyone.

I watch him grow
His indulgence in ignorance
Impresses everyone.

I watch him fly
His heights of achievement
Dares everyone.

I watch him sit
His pleasant eyes
Brings happiness to everyone

I watch him say
"Give everything away"
His hands of charity
Brings peace to everyone

I watch him sleep
Unmoved in his bed
I watch everywhere else
People filled with
Crocodile Tears in their eyes

Am I pessimistic?
Or Just think too much.
Days passed, months rolled

I watch people
And hear them say
"He was not a perfect human being; he did nothing for us"
Perfection, eh we look for
In everyone of us
But have wondered ourselves
Are we perfect?

I thrive within myself
To reach the goal
But the distance
Seems impossible
To even start.

His soul must
Rest in peace
But
I watch people still talk
He was not good man
Who defines good?
And who is bad?
Ain't we naïve

Or just fooling ourselves.
Perfection I still look for
Don't know where to go
What else to do

I watch everyone else
That gives me happiness
I watch them grow,
Live, run and sleep

Perfection I don't know
If I will find
But I know within myself
I'll grow, run
And when it comes
Accept the eternal sleep                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 

The Gospel Truth

Up, she sits and ponders

What had happened

In a moment everything

Seems to get altered.

I watch with amusement

Her eyes filled with

Fresh love from the factory

Yet to be baked.

Up, she sits and thinks

What nourishes me,

Also destroys me

You were so close yesterday

But today, I don’t see you anymore.

I still watch her with amusement

Much more amusement

Like a little child who opens his eyes.

Her eyes now, wide open

Only to accept the harsh reality.

Up she sits and wonders

Is this is what I had expected?

Why did you change?

I would have waited for you

No matter what

If this is all you wanted.

I keep on watching her

This time a sense of responsibility

Sunks in within.

I approach her

Can I help you?

Her gleaming honest eyes

Stares at mine for a moment

What do you know about heartbreak?

She says softly.

Her two teardrops make me realize

Huh, yes, what do I know about heartbreak?

My heart wasn’t broken

How could it?

I didn’t possess one.

Her lustrous voice said

You will help me?

A streak of stretching lips

Looked as if she smiled

Ok help me then

I am trying to get over with it.

Two self help books

Three parties, four flings

And whoosh! You`ll get over with it.

This is your medication.

Life is too short to ponder

Relationships may break at some step

Even when it is cemented with trust

Life is too short to cry

For a pure soul of yours

Only happiness should matter.

Everything happens for a cause

Only time lets us know about it

After every sunset, there is sunrise

After every winter, there is summer

Hope, my friend is the gospel truth

It comes in different vouchers

Can be redeemed only at select counters

Because conditions now here apply

But only to be happy.

Around Here

Lying deep in thoughts

Not knowing what to do

An unknown fear calls me from distance

Am I ready for it yet?

Around me, I see people

People with dreams, aspirations

People with ideas and creations.

But, where do I stand among those

Am I even counted?

Around me, I see the nature

Nature that has transformed

Itself into a complicated caricature.

Everyone is yearning for the green

But the green is nowhere to be seen.

Around me, I see the developments

Developments in every possible field

But every day when I walk

Down the road,

I still see children, craving for

Two square meals.

Around me, I see politics

The desire for power

Power in every possible means.

Yet, when it comes to taking

Responsibility, I only see them

Playing the blame game.

Modern Life is a subtle irony

With the long glory,

Comes the deep dark fear,

The developments lead to

More and more complications

With only a way to enter

But no exit.